why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
