You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I will be naked everywhere
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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