Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
