i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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