How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
