My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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