i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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