I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
