Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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