how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
