Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
