i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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