No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
