haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
