Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
