bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
