Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
