Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
