playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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