how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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