Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
