yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
