Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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