A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
