Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I believe in your delicious
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
