you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
