I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
