Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
