just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
