someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
