Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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