is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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