the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
