i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
