Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
