Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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