He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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