i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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