No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize