Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
