no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize