I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize