He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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