he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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