did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize