I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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