At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
