im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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