I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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