Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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