I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize