You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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