she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
