I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize