Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
