I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
