my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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