i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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