____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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