I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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