brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
