that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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