There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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